Playgirls

Players: 2 About: Ball and paddle Courtesy of: Hot-B Back in: 1992 Originally on: Arcade Also on: N/A

If you still have patience for another "Arkanoid" clone (I know I don't), the first installment in Hot-B's "Playgirls" series will most likely be the last drop that overflows your glass.
It's hard to believe ripping off a game like Arkanoid can be difficult. I mean, seriously. The simple physics of a ball bouncing off a surface at the same angle it hit it is something even I (being the farthest from a game developer) could program; and the power-up items, the real "meat" of the gameplay, well... they admitedly have been copied off of Taito's classic by every other ball-and-paddle title in the market.

Playgirls is no different. The physics work of course (it would be very sad if they didn't), and typical power-ups like "Multiball", "paddle extender", "metal ball", and "paddle shortener" are nothing new. Hot-B actually modified everyone's favorite, the "laser", into three odd characters you can turn your paddle into: a firing tank, a shuriken-throwing ninja, and a fire-breathing dragon; and added a cool Gradius-like "option" paddle that follows the movements of the main one.
But still Playgirls fails to be fun, let alone be addictive like the original it draws from. Why? The main problem is the brick layout on each stage. Most of these bricks form different shapes in the middle of the screen of each level, which leaves big empty spaces on top and under such shape and also very narrow side-passages the ball can barely fit thru. The issue is that once the ball makes its way to the top of the screen, it will most likely going to stay up there bouncing around for a long time until it finds its way down. Surely this "autopilot feature" makes the game easier, but I like the idea of my skills being involved when I beat a stage. That's just me.

Other issues are the TOTAL lack of enemies (again contributing to dullness), and excessively abundant useless items like hamburgers, pizzas (or cookies, who knows what the damn sprite represents), and cocktail drinks that only increase your score. Seriously, score-increasing food in video games is so 80's.

Sadly, Playgirls doesn't do well technically either except for its presentation. Each play field is enclosed in nicely designed frames, the overall choice of colors is attractive, and the ladies are barely above average, which gives the title an air of quality.
Sound effects are horrible beeps and boops we were used to listening to back in the days of "Pole Position", and music sounds terribly 8-bit-ish and does not fit the theme of the game at all.

The ladies:
These Playgirls have unfortunately no direct relation to Hugh Hefner's harem. Only 4 of them are selectable from the start, with more accessible upon completing the first 4 levels. No nudity here.

If you really must play another bad Arkanoid clone, be my guest. This series almost didn't make it into this article, but my strange affection towards its super underdog developer (responsible for the great "Steel Empire"), peculiar incongruity with its sequel, and overall nice presentation deserved to be put on the map if nothing else as a curiosity.